Alert readers will remember that I have always had a penchant for calendars. Lots of them, the more the better. The reason being that over the years, I have used them to “decorate” the institutional offices I have inhabited in various capacities. It provides me with a chance to refresh the look of the otherwise drab walls of my usual den which never seemed to have windows. No corner offices for flutter freaks! Anyway, the first of the month is always fun because I get to flip the page and see what the art is for the new month. Alert readers will also remember (or should learn) that “looking ahead” in calendars can cause nothing but misfortune and bad luck. Don't do it. So the first of the month is always celebrated for the unveiling. I should mention that with my impeccable (for the most part) taste, the calendars I have tend to run classical art (such as French impressionists), beautiful places (Ireland), Golf Courses (USGA), or pleasant structures (Architectural Digest), or when I can find them, food and wine. So there is a ritual of “turning the page” twelve times a year.
Since today was my first day “back in the office” of my local job here, I was able to enjoy the turning of several calendars for August.
A favorite there is one that was brought back from Italy especially for me by a friend who visited there last year. He was in Tuscany and brought a lovely calendar featuring food of the region from a Tuscan Kitchen. Gorgeous.
Each month contains a picture of a “local” or traditional dish, along with the recipe for same. And of course being continental in its appeal, the recipe is translated into four languages beside the (presumably authentic) Italian. These are French, Spanish, German, and British. There is a little flag of the country next to each recipe, and the “English” one is a British flag. Not American, British.
This month’s feature is a Roasted Sirloin, a luscious looking piece of meat.
So I thought, well, let’s see how they interpret the roast and I read the recipe. What a riot! I suppose that spell checkers were not employed, and in fact it reads as if that famous “translated by a machine” technique was employed.
I include it below for your enjoyment. Spelling, words, and punctuation are an exact copy straight from the calendar for the Roast Sirloin. I am not making this up (I couldn’t!).
Ingredients:
Rosemary
Salt and Pepper
1 glass of red wine
800 gr. Beef
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Sirloin Roast
Ate meat (steak or piece of beef) to keep in shape during cooking and place between the meat and rosemary springs chain, and if you will, a couple of cloves of garlic. Place in a pan (suitable for the oven) on fire with abundant oil when dóndesello in full (the 4 sides). When you turn on filetehacerlo with two tablespoons of, preferably of wood, and avoid drilling carne. Verter of wine in the skillet and place in the oven, preheated temperature of 250° C for 15 minutes then adjust the salt and pimientahumedecer the surface with the sauce and continue cooking for another 15 minutes. Serve cold with meat sauce.
Ready to cook? Let’s get going! Where’s that glass of red wine?
One sort of wonders how the other translations are..food is so fun..and on top of that you get to
DFD
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