Annual Bowling Rant....

Sorry food fans, I gotta get this done for this year... tomorrow will be your day..  much foodstuffs to report on.. but first:


I feel better. Normally at this time of the year I am depressed and gloomy. Besides the holiday madness, another cause of this funk is usually the performance of teams from my native Big Ten Conference in the glut of year end bowl games. Year after year, the vaunted tough Big Ten players are uprooted from their snow covered fields, taken to a warm spot with palm trees, beaches (and the normal inhabitants of them) and then when it comes time to play football, they forget how. Usually playing against some team based in the south, the Big Ten players appear as if hitched to a plow, and watch the gazelle like runners of the southern teams blow past them.


With ten (!) teams from the (so-called) Big Ten playing, I figured it would be another dose of humiliation and reality. But it started on a little better note when Purdue barely beat a plucky Division One AA (or whatever they’re called now) team, and a little (personal) plus that the team from South Bend fumbled their way to a loss. But then, a downer when Iowa and Northwestern lost by a combined total of 28 points. Then another upper when somehow Illinois managed to beat UCLA, although Penn and (THE) Ohio States were losing, but by at least by “respectable” margins (I’ll take it where I can get it).

Then it came time for the Outback Bowl to watch my (0 and 4 bowl record) Spartans take on a Georgia team who felt they had been jilted by the BCS boys. After MSU’s pitiful performance against Alabama last year, I feared I would have to watch a repeat on a national stage. To make matters worse, the “color” man for the broadcast was the indefatigable Jon Gruden (aka Chucky Cheese) who apparently took off his Georgia Cheerleader uniform just before entering to the booth. Relentless in his praise for the Bulldogs, he lauded their talent: “MSU hasn’t seen a team with this much speed”; “I don’t see how MSU can hope to play with such talented players that Georgia has”; “they haven’t won a bowl game under Dantonio, and it looks like that will continue”; “MSU’s offense is just befuddled by this blanketing Georgia defense”. Et cetera. And, in fact, he looked to be correct as the Spartans first play from scrimmage was a safety (“Brandon Boykin is just too much for them”) and in general they were helpless in the first half, going into the locker room down 16 points.

Ah, but then came the second half. Somehow the “hapless” Spartans managed two unanswered touchdowns aided by an interception, to pull within two. This resulted in a begrudging comment about “This team doesn’t seem to quit”. But then Georgia “responded to the challenge” with another touchdown leading by seven points with just over six minutes left. A relieved Chucky allowed as how “MSU made a nice run, but they look like they will fall short again”. Wrong. Cousins marched the team down the field and scored with 14 seconds left to tie the game.

Three overtimes later, with a blocked field goal, the huge monkey hit the turf as the Spartans got away with their unlikely comeback. Chucky had to acknowledge that they played a heck of a game. Ha!

Finally (for the Big Ten) last night, despite a lackluster performance by the offense, Michigan managed another overtime win over Virginia Tech on the toe of a kicker. With space becoming used up here, I won’t comment much on the “Beeeeemmmmerrrr Balllllll” play attempting a fake punt on 4th and 15…

And then to top it all off we had to suffer another session with Holly (It’s all about ME) Rowe sticking microphones in the faces of coaches, players and anybody else who she could corner, asking the stupid “What was going through your mind when…..” questions, or demanding to know “How were you able to….”. Give it up ESPN! Leave it on the field…

So as I said, a 4 and 6 record for the Big Ten is, as I have come to experience, respectable this year… It was surprising that so many games were decided by kickers this year, which is maybe a statement on “parity”.

As I write this, there are still FIVE more games to be played, leading up to the so-called National Championship Game rematch between LSU and Alabama. Despite what I may say about the games, it is interesting to see teams from different conferences and sections of the country play. But those BCS pundits have created another conference game (last time there were only kickers on the scoreboard) to decide who is “number one”. It’s America for God’s sake we HAVE to have a “Number One”.

I feel better, and it’s also America where you must

DFD