Monday, April 9, 2012

The Nineteenth Hole....


A couple of bogeys left over from the golf journey

I was taken to task today by a couple of readers for not finishing the story about me trying to smuggle a weapon onto the golf course in the form of my seemingly harmless Swiss Army Knife.  In a way, I am glad it was pointed out to me (one of which was an English teacher no less) because it proves that somebody actually pays attention to this.  Anyway, as you recall as I was about to enter the security gate in the morning, a very sweet older African American lady doing triage told me I would not be able to take the knife through security to the course because it was so dangerous (she really didn’t say the latter, it’s just me).  Instead, she kindly said, here let me hold it for you, and when you leave this afternoon, just come back right here and get it.  She very carefully showed me a little corner in her cabinet, and gently placed the weapon there.  She was very apologetic for having to do this, but it was the rule.  And, as we all know, rules is rules, especially when it comes to security.

Okay, so after a long day of golf, on the way out we had to pass near the security gates again so I figured what the heck, I’ll give it a shot.  I walked over from the exit path to the entrance gates and told a nice young man my story.  He directed me to another agent, and I repeated the story.  Follow me, he says, and took me to the security office. The door opened to reveal a uniformed, very stern looking lady eyeing me suspiciously.  Once again I repeated the story, and she replied in “a tone”: “Sir! All confiscated items have been disposed of”.  Visions of Bio Hazard suited men with long poles prodding my knife to see if it would explode leaped to mind.  Well, I said, the nice lady at the gate placed it in her little cabinet and said it would be there.  Again the back rose, the eyes narrowed and in a steely voice:  “Sir, you were given incorrect information! we DISPOSE of all CONFISCATED items”.  I figured my weapon was more “checked” than confiscated, but this point I was fearing a cavity search if I pursued the matter any longer and thanked her for her time, retreating out the door under her self satisfied gaze.

I must say this was the only blemish on all the volunteers and people we encountered for the tournament; they were all almost the complete opposite of security czar.  So thank you nice elderly lady at the gate for your consideration, and up yours lady in the office!

A fishy tale…

I also forgot to relate another piece of the story at Carraba’s.  One of the items on the menu was a tilapia dish of some sort.  Seems like these days you can’t find a menu without the little piscine on it.  At any rate, my friend innocently (not really) asked if the tilapia were local?  Why yes it is, said the server who was taking care of us.  Well, not so fast.  Tilapia is enjoying a boom in aquaculture and is being farmed a lot of places.  I did a little internet poking, and although I can’t find the damn reference today, it was to the effect that 98% of the Tilapia consumed in the US comes frozen from off shore.  So I am very much in doubt that a little lad in a straw hat and a bamboo pole caught the menu items for Carraba’s.

Okay, tomorrow back home issues.  And for those you won’t (yet) have to be


DFD

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