Oxymoron...

Well, since we kind of diverted off into demons and such things, maybe it’s time to return to our main subject of foodie things.. and I know you’ve all been waiting for that discussion of…..Shrimp!

I really like shrimp, but I have never lived in a place where you could get fresh caught shrimp at the dock such as I have heard you can do in places like the Carolinas, Louisiana, and Texas.  Somehow, I rarely am satisfied with shrimp you run into at various functions and most restaurants.  I don’t know why that is, but they never seem to have the flavor I imagine they should.  All they have is texture (usually on the rubbery side). Hence I’m always on the lookout for ways to improve them, so naturally when I saw an article in Cook’s Country called “Best Ever Shrimp Cocktail – New Foolproof Method” it caught my eye.  First, for the use of the damn word “Best”, let alone in conjunction with “ever”, and second, a “new method”?.   As we all know, that is typical of the Christopher Kimball empire of Cook’s Illustrated, featuring the “forget everything you ever knew about frying an egg” approach to (mostly scientific) cooking.  To be fair (as I always am) they do occasionally have some good ideas.  This article started out with a little rant about how on every Christmas Eve, the author’s uncle brought a plastic tray of shrimp cocktail: “the cooked shrimp arranged in concentric circles around a tub of cocktail sauce”.  Well, we’re all certainly familiar with that and also would agree that:  “the party vibe evaporates at the first bite of rubbery, watery shrimp” another experience we have all had.

So then he goes on to yak about how he set out to….yadda yadda.  Within all the hoopla I think he did come up with a way that at least helped what we would refer to as typical cocktail “boiled shrimp”.  Here are the basics of his “new foolproof method”:

·       First of all (after various unsuccessful attempts), he ended up eliminating the “boiling”.  The final process was to put “shell on” (more on that in a minute) shrimp into a pot of cold liquid, bring the temperature up to 170 degrees, take off heat, let set covered for five to seven minutes, uncover and pitch in a whole lot of ice, let cool, and voila! Perfectly cooked shrimp that were not wound up like a clock spring.

·       For the poaching liquid, he called for fresh thyme, lemon juice and zest (added after it comes off heat), bay leaves, celery seeds, peppercorns, salt (two and a half tablespoons!), 4 cups water and 8 cups ice, all for 2 pounds of shrimp.

·       For the shrimp themselves (again after trying shell on, shell off, E-Z Peel, etc.) he used shell-on Jumbo (16 to 20 count) Shrimp (was it George Carlin or Steven Wright who pointed out the term “Jumbo Shrimp”).  He asks you to use some scissors to cut the shell along the back and devein them before cooking.

·       After the ice bath has cooled them completely you shell them and put them on ice until you’re ready to serve.

I tried this method for the second time the other day, and was fairly happy with the result.  Still not OMG, but better than average.  I followed the intent of his recipe if not the exact instructions.  For instance with a nod to my cardiologist l left out the salt (with probably a hit to the final product).  I suspect I had a much greater ratio of liquid to shrimp; I had only about a dozen (close to a pound) and used a 6 quart sauce pan.  I did include the bay leaves, peppercorns, lemons, and thyme, but left out the celery seeds..  they always wind up in the dish and then your teeth.

And just a little diversion here, I am skeptical of the whole concept of “flavored” poaching liquid.  I never think it has much effect..  done it with chicken and fish, and well, after poaching they taste pretty much like chicken and fish.  Anyway, it isn’t hard, so suit yourself.

I also found removing the vein by cutting the shell was a bit difficult.  Where do you stop cutting?  Did I get that entire vein or is there some still in there?

I used an instant read meat thermometer (an essential in the kitchen) to monitor the water temperature and that wasn’t hard.

In the end, shelling the shrimp was fairly easy and that is where you can clean up any residual vein missed before cooking.  And speaking of finishing for serving, there is another thing you can do however you prepare cold shrimp that IMHO vastly improves their presentation.  You know that little ridge of fat that runs along the back just to the sides of the vein split?  REMOVE it.  Nothing says cheap and low life to me like picking up a shrimp from a tray and have those ugly little white ridges on the back.  It shouldn’t be hard to remove them.  Do it.

The article also included a recipe for cocktail sauce, usual stuff, catsup, horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, plus Old Bay and Cayenne..  sort of the usual custom cocktail sauce recipe.  I have both as a document if you would like a copy, just email me.  And be careful eating shrimp cocktail, the sauce can drip on your shirt when you are

DFD

Which reminds me of another aggravation:  Reception; passed appetizers.  One hand has drink, server approaches with a tray of shrimp cocktail.  Other hand takes shrimp.  Napkin?  Third hand?  Dip the shrimp in the sauce (prior to drizzling on new shirt) with fourth hand.  One bite, now you have a shrimp tail (and a soiled shirt) and of course the server is in the next room at this point..  Social graces…