Rope Caulk

Do you know what that is?

If you don’t, stop reading right now, close the computer and go apply for a job at Lowe’s.

Close inspection of the screened in porch at the digs revealed a path of entry for the numerous wasps who have been joining us for cocktails lately. During the repair for the lightning damage last year, the last vertical next to the brick had not been caulked so that the mortar joints provided an entry for any curious Hymenoptera Apocrita. Okay that should be an easy repair.. I’ll just pop over to Lowe’s and get some Rope Caulk and start stuffing the holes.. Easy. So, off I go, into Lowe’s get to the caulk aisle and find only tubes of latex stuff. A smiling red vested youngster approached and inquired if I needed some help. “Yes, I can’t seem to see the Rope Caulk, can you tell me where it is?”. The smile disappeared from his face, and eyes opened wide. “what?” “rope caulk, can you tell me were it is?”. I don’t know what that is. “you know, it’s the stuff that’s in a box, on a roll, several small strands of putty like material”. Never heard of it! “okay, thanks I’ll go look in plumbing”.

The next 20 minutes was spent roaming the store, and every clerk I asked had the same reaction: “Huh?”, with overtones intimating that I was crazy because they were the experts and there probably was no such product. Finally “Barb” overheard me asking about the 8th person and said: “Oh Yeah – Rope Caulk!”. A feeling of relief came over me that: a) I wasn’t insane, and b) somebody actually heard of it. Another guided tour of the store ensued without success, finally the conclusion was reached that they don’t carry it anymore (despite their inventory computer saying they did). Barb apologized, but did take some personal satisfaction that “10 guys never heard of it, and one woman did!”…Crestfallen, I did purchase a fresh tube of the silicone stuff with the hope of not having to use it (several experiences have gone really bad).

If you do know what that is, finish reading and go apply for a job at Dyson’s.

Frustrated with my Lowe’s experience (which cost me approximately 40 minutes with no success), I drove down to Dyson’s on Great Mills. Upon entering I was asked if I needed help by someone of, er, “my” generation. Hesitantly I asked about Rope Caulk. “Of course! Hey Joe! Can you show this gentleman the rope caulk?”. Straight to the aisle, and there it was. He apologized for not having the “spaghetti” kind on hand, but did have the flat roll. Obviously not a foreign product to Joe. I briefly described my odyssey at the other establishment, and he observed I got what I deserved.

So, after losing my work window yesterday afternoon to my tour of Lowe’s, I’m about ready to go outside and seal out the wasps…