Monday, April 1, 2013

Ham, Hoops, and more...


I was going to try to come up with some creative take for April Fool’s day, but I couldn’t top Google’s announcement of their version of Emeril’s “Smell o Vision”.  They’re pretty clever those google folks..

So just a few items of interest, at least to me..(with no jokes)

Ham

First, a small clarification about my “ham” comments in relation to Easter.. I was limiting my remarks to the product we normally see in the grocery store from Smithfield, Hormel, and other such mass providers.  Pre-cooked, salt soaked, water injected, boned, generally “assembled” from pieces, and ready for slicing.  I know there is another world out there that includes wonderful Jamon Iberico and Serrano from Spain, Prosciutto, Pancetta, Speck, from Italy, Jambon de Paris from France, and of course our own smoked and  “country cured hams” from small local producers.  All pork, big difference!!

Hoops

Anyway, our Easter mostly consisted of watching the drizzle, and yes, a lot of bouncing basketballs, some hockey pucks (NCAA road to the Frozen Four), and even some golf balls.    With our colds we were not fit to visit or be exposed to anybody so it was a quiet day capped off by a small grilled pork chop from WAG meats and a baked potato.   After my Spartans bowed out to Coach K once again , I was surprised at what Michigan did to Florida.. Will be interesting to see them play ‘Cuse.  I don’t know how much you watch coverage, but I am greatly enjoying seeing Charles Barkley. Says what he thinks, pulls no punches and I’m sure producers are shaking every time they go live.. Even his commercials are entertaining.. And on the distaff side, Brittney Griner and the Bears got shocked.  Interesting stuff.

Another final four

Garden and Gun, the magazine of southern culture and food is doing a Battle of the Brands "Bracket" asking voters to pick their favorite in a play off of (Southern) Sodas, Snacks, Pantry, and Sweets.  You can look at it (and vote if you wish) here.  Kind of cute and Duke’s Mayo (the Feeder’s Favorite) is in the final four.  Oh, and speaking of G&G, I thought the cover was...... interesting, and not up to their normal standards...Nashville Sleaze...

Words and Phrases (couldn't come up with an "H" title)

As somebody who uses them a lot, I pay attention to common usages and misuses of words and phrases that come and go in popularity.  For instance, (mercifully) on the way out are things like:

Take it to the next level

We're gonna give 110%

Back against the wall

All the bells and whistles

I could go on…  But as fast as these die out they are replaced by things such as:

The way we roll

Game Changer

Give Him/Her Props

(I don’t even know what that means – where did it come from?)

Jaw Dropper/Dropping

They are maybe funny the first six (?) times you hear them, but tire rather quickly.  Just say what you mean…

And I can’t leave a section on words and phrases without a mention of “you guys” mentality.  I was cruising facebook the other day, and came across a posting by a lady that contained a picture of three rather comely women dressed for a festival or something, who were um….  “well endowed”, and were flaunting it with well tailored but revealing dresses.  Her comment was to the effect that “they” were pretty spectacular (Jerry Seinfeld), and she personally had nothing “like the <…obs> on THESE GUYS”. Sigh.  how wrong is that??
 
Wheels 
 
I was going to end on that note, but another traffic incident on the way home today deserves some comment.  Some may remember our intersection of Millstone Landing and Route 235 is controlled by demons in the stop lights.  I was coming south on 235 today wanting to turn left into Millstone landing, and of course the demons arranged for an interminable green for through traffic which usually allows a buildup in the left turn lanes..  There are two “left turn lanes” to go into Millstone.  It is always a crap shoot on which lane you should be in.  There are many people who want to U turn and go back north, to turn into the bowling alley or something, and while that is fine, a bunch of them doing that will take a fair amount of time while making the 180 degree turn, allowing time for the demons to turn off the arrow before you can make your 90 degree left turn.  But if you go into the “outside” turn lane to avoid the many U folks, you are apt to get a bunch that doesn’t want to reverse and just make a normal left turn, and then you’re stuck in the outside lane and have to merge where Millstone reverts to two lanes.  You often see folks in that outside left turn lane floor it so that they can beat anybody who just wants to make a normal left turn.  Anyway, getting to the point at last, today with only one car queued in the inside left turn lane, I fell in behind them.  Next to me in the outside turn lane was a small white car driven by a young female. Got the picture?  Okay, demons turn on the green arrow and car in front of me just makes a normal left turn.  Knowing the car next to me will have to merge with us I (uncharacteristically) slow down a bit to provide a space for her.  Left turn signal goes on and she immediately cuts hard left in front of me with the objective of turning LEFT into the AAMCO/PNC lot which is right there.  Guess what? There’s a car coming at us… She hits brakes, I hit brakes with her 90 degrees to me, ready to be T-Boned,  it passes, she calmly pulls into lot (oh, did I mention I leaned on the horn?) and gives me a "what the hell is wrong with you mister?” look.

DFD

 

No comments: