Second Link

I know you’ve all been on the edge of your seat waiting for the next installment of the links in the “chain”.

Wait no longer!  I’ll summarize Mr. Sietsema’ s “ratings” of ten of the most popular chains we all know and (a few) love so well..  To use his lead in quote (without permission):

“people love to pick on chains.  Like used car salesmen, the mass feeders are easy targets”

He goes on to make the point about national uniformity, and then says: “but not all chains are created equal” and how he spent several months “grazing through the menus of the 10 casual, full service restaurant chains that have the highest sales, according to National Restaurant News”.  As a quick fact, Applebee’s comes in at No. 1 (in sales) at $4.4 Billion.

Okay, so following David Letterman’s technique, let’s plow through the ten.  He gives a letter grade (A-F).  There were some surprises, see what you think.  He also includes a common list of “Best (dish) of the Bunch” as well as “Steer Clear Of” I’ll condense his couple of paragraphs as best I can.. [but, try as I might, i got pooped after the first six, so finish in next edition]

No. 10, Grade F: Buffalo Wild Wings

“the saddest meal of my entire year; scrawny wings, taste like KFC minus those secret 11 herbs and spices; better miss a meal than to find yourself in this loud, garish, and thoroughly soulless restaurant-in-name only”.

Best of the Bunch: getting the check;

Steer Clear of: everything but the beer

No. 9, Grade D: IHOP

“probably the best that can be said is that…the pancakes are fluffy; a leathery soft tortilla crammed with fish that appeared to be fried in a straitjacket;  Had to chase the server outside to get the check, she was on her smoke break”

Best of the Bunch: Patty Melt, Spinach Mushroom Omelet (sans hollandaise)

Steer Clear of: Burgers, Fried Fish tacos, country fried steak

No 8, Grade D: Outback Steakhouse

“let me get this out of the way:  the piece de resistance here is one of the most vulgar creations that any chain has whipped up [bloomin’ onion]; people come here for steak.  They shouldn’t, [looks good, tastes tame], alternatives to beef (crab cakes, arid pork ribs) almost as bad; About as much in common with Australia as Olive Garden has with Italy”

Best… wine poured by the glass poured from individual carafes, garlicky mashed potatoes, Parmesan Herbed chicken, spiced Carrot Cake

Steer clear: Crab cakes, fish tacos, pork ribs, not-so-hot and batter heavy “volcano” shrimp

No. 7, Grade C-minus: Red Lobster

“Red Lobster makes for blue diners; steamed and split [Lobsters] reveal seafood that tastes like… not much without (lots of) melted butter; Salmon might just as well have swum in from a banquet; sometimes the most nautical part of my visits are the garnishes on the walls [paintings, flags, etc];

Best… Cheese biscuits, Yucatan shrimp, coconut shrimp, crab legs

Steer… Doughy lobster pizza, fried clams, fried clams, maple glazed chicken that tastes like airline issue, steamed lobster, achingly sweet and dense Key Lime pie.

No. 6, Grade C-minus: Chili’s Grill and Bar

“ribs: you would wonder what all the fuss is about.  No amount of BBQ sauce can hide the fact that the flesh is dry; Cajun Pasta penne with chicken or shrimp salty with parmesan.. a gummy bore; Simple is better, Rib Eye comes with a nice beefiness and a good scoop of mashed loaded with bacon, cheese and Scallions

Best: Southwestern egg rolls, mini-burgers, panko onion rings, rib-eye

Steer: Caribbean Salad, Cajun pasta, salted caramel cake

No 5, Grade C: Applebee’s Neighborhood Grill & Bar

“…offers sufficient choices on its multiple plastic menus in its rec-room-dressed dining room to keep the brand interesting; skeptics can warm up to the mildly zesty  Sriracha shrimp presented on tortilla chips and agreeable chicken tacos; forget the arid ribs with their sweet glaze, and Whiskey-bacon burger; better than you might expect are the juicy enough steak on the surf and turf combo;

Best: Sriracha shrimp, Crunchy-spicy chicken wings, steak quesadilla, Skin on mashed potatoes, grilled chicken with quinoa and cranberries

Steer: Ribs, salmon, apple chimi-cheesecake

Break, break…Okay, at this point I might assume you are as tired of reading this as I am of typing, so let’s hold the “Final Four” until tomorrow. 

Besides I want to let you know about a little food product we found.  As you should know by now, I have been placed on a restricted sodium diet, because “water follows sodium” and the retention of water is one of the culprits in my current medical condition.  So we have taken to be avid readers of “Nutritional” values of products we buy and consume.   MFO has got a few “low sodium” cookbooks and we’re trying use those. 

Anyway, as you also know cocktail hour is sacred in the House of Moody.  Most of the stuff we use for Knoshes is loaded with salt (which is why it tastes good) so we have a little scale we use to determine what an ounce of salted nuts is, limit cheeses to miniscule proportions, and so forth.  You might remember we had a wonderful Smoked Salmon Dip at thanksgiving.  Well, MFO was in the grocery store the other day and her eye fell on:

And she picked up the little tub.   Guess what??!! While not as lovely as the homemade variety, it really tastes pretty good.  Plus it is not particularly salt heavy.  I suppose one could pump it up a bit by adding dill weed, but we haven’t tried that yet. 

a good thing to keep in the fridge for surprise guests maybe.

Okay, so we're almost through with the chain, final link tomorrow and maybe we'll try to figure out how to

DFD