Friday, July 13, 2012

Unchain my heart...


Okay, passing on any sleazy triskaidekaphobia jokes, we continue with the subject at hand

As I said the other day, a few readers have been kind enough to provide feedback on their experiences with “chains”.  I am relieved and gratified to report I didn’t get any “Cracker Barrel is the best!!” or “Can’t wait to get to Lone Star” remarks.  Maybe a testimony to the collective tastes of the readership!  But what I did get was very interesting..

You remember that Biaggi’s Ristorante Italiano  came in as overall highest rated?  Guess what.  I had notes from readers from as far flung as Ohio and Seattle, saying they have been to a Biaggi’s and greatly enjoyed it.  Both of these readers have discerning palates.  A couple of readers from here and Florida said they really liked LePeep (eggs anyway you like them) for breakfast. STL also weighed in in favor of First Watch for breakfast items, one even adding that if that wasn’t available, Bob Evans would suffice.  Black Angus Steakhouse (nee Stuart Anderson's) had its devotees among west coast folk.

You might remember that all of the above were in the “top ten” of CR’s report.  But equally interesting were other “chain” restaurants where good meals were enjoyed.  Places like Claim Jumpers; Salt Grass Steakhouse; Bubba Gump Shrimp; and even our old friend the The Chart House were mentioned.  One reader said she had been to a couple of locations of Season’s 52 (there’s one in Tyson’s), and had enjoyed meals that were very different in each location. So maybe painting all the “chains” with the same brush is not warranted.  It appears that there are varying levels of establishments under the umbrella, from the more creative (Season’s 52), to the close your eyes and you could be anywhere (Olive Garden).  I wondered previously what qualified you to be a “chain” anyway.  Who owns these places anyway?

Well, once you start peeling back that onion (I am not above using trite phrases), it gets very complicated very fast.  You may have heard of Landry’s (not the seafood house, the company).  They own/manage(?) about 39 properties, including Morton’s, that Salt Grass, Claim Jumper and so on.  Darden has the mega chains such as Red Lobster, Olive Garden, Longhorn Steak House, but they also harbor Season’s 52 and Capital Grille.  OSI Restaurant Partners reign in Outback, Carraba’s, Bonefish, Cheeseburger in Paradise, as well as Ray’s and Flemings.  Not all places roll up somewhere, LePeep, Cheesecake Factory, Cracker Barrel, Bob Evan’s, Applebees all go it on their own.  You can amuse yourself for hours googleing “Who owns……..”.  What a nightmare.. glad I don’t have to worry about that, only what is in front of me.

Oh, I saw a list in a trade publication of “Top 100 chains ranked by sytemwide foodservice sales”.  Guess who is number one with sales of over $34 Billion (yes, with a B)?  Golden Arches.  Second goes to Subway with a measly 11 Billion, followed (in order) by Starbucks, Burger King, Wendy’s, Taco Bell, Dunkin’ Donuts, KFC, Applebees, and on down the list that contains every frickin’ place that comes to mind when you think “chain”.  The only one (out of 100) that was in the CR top ten was Bob Evan’s at 47th place.  The 100th with a paltry 392 million in sales was On the Border, just under Chuck E. Cheese and Big Boy.  So the vast majority of eaters out there (apparently) still prefer the drive troughs’, quick service (the new buzz word for “fast food”) places and grab and go.  

At this point there should be drum roll, crescendo, and some sweeping “what all this means” statement. I got nuthin’…  I guess what comes to me is that there is such a wide variety of places we put in the “chain” bucket (which seems to have some holes) that you can probably find something you would spend your money on more than once.  This makes it even harder for the independents to make it on their own.  I would recommend that that is the first thing to look for, a locally owned and managed place that suits you (yes, it’s work and you will have whiffs – such as faux crab) but when you find one support them.  Past that, maybe some of those lesser known, more esoteric “chains” that while part of a parent company, do have some autonomy and latitude to work with the food.. they appear to be out there..

As a closing footnote (for now) here in our little corner of Southern Maryland, we are stuck with those mega chains..and more rolling in..

And now for something completely different!

Being wrapped up in chain mail (get it?), I sort of passed over the recent All Star Baseball game (even with their lame attempts at convincing you it “Means Something!).  I don’t care so much about the game itself, but what I am interested in is the preceding competition of “hat tipping”.  There is an art to tipping your baseball hat when introduced in the pregame line up on the foul line.  It is as traditional as the sport itself.  When FOJTE went out for baseball in high school, there was an entire practice spent on the proper procedure of putting the hat on your head (which we won’t describe here).  I am afraid that the skill of “tipping” has eroded with the “me first” players vying to see who can make the most money, their talent apparently judged by how many dollars owners are willing to spend on them.  Anyway, at the extreme bottom of the ranks of tippers are the players that (gasp!) completely remove the hat from their head, hold it in one hand while giving the touchdown salute with both arms.  Awful.  Disrespectful to the game. A slight step up is the one hand removal, but only elevating it a foot or so from their head (please not at arms length).  Almost there is the unfortunate practice of grabbing the bill and lifting it UP to expose hair (if any) before pulling it back down.  Ah, but the paramount is when the player puts the tip of the thumb under the edge of the bill of the cap approximately over the right eye, curls the index finger on the bill over the thumb, with only the second knuckle to fingertip touching the fabric, pauses there just a second or two, and then dips the hand DOWN just a half inch (or not at all) before returning thumb/finger to the properly fitted hat position and removing the hand.  Now that is CLASS!  I gave the golden hat bill award to Bob Weldon this year, he closely approximated perfection. 

Preparations for Scotland continue as we get ready to

DF anything..



Ps: we didn’t make it to Coco’s the other night.


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