A MOMSTER Tale..

I’m sure this won’t come as a shock to anybody, particularly the male side of the readership:  Women are funny; and by this I don’t mean funny ha ha (which is often the case), but more like “peculiar”, or maybe “surprising”; “inscrutable” and words like that.  I was recently treated to a demonstration of this trait by none other than MFO.  And it had to do with what is generally considered the manly subject of automobiles.

You may recall that we retired the so-called (used with permission) MOMSTER I, a lovely GMC Yukon XL in a classy emerald green color. 

Eastern Shore, 2010

Wonderful automobile, we enjoyed it especially in the over the road trips to the FOJ’s, and our epic coast to coast journey to deliver the baby cradle to a nephew in Oakland.  So when we began to have some nicks and hiccups with it, MFO decided she would like to replace it.  Never one to let time pass, she/we found a Chevy Suburban at the local GM dealer, and under the impression that Suburban and Yukon were interchangeable, we got it in 2012.  It lacked some bells and whistles (like a Nav system), but was pretty plush, or so we thought.  Thus MOMSTER II was introduced to the Flutter Family.

At first when it was new, when asked how she liked it, she would respond with “it’s great”.  Then after time passed, the response was more like “It’s okay”, and then gradually more and more exclamations like: “It’s NOT the same as the Yukon!”.  And that was true.  It didn’t have the same road feel as its predecessor, the upholstery was not quite as comfortable, lots of road noise, the steering began to be “loose”, and things like that.  Lately there have been numerous epithets like: “THIS DAMN CAR!!”, uttered in situations when attempting to pass or merge, with depressing the accelerator only giving you….. a pause, then loudly downshifting a couple of gears before actually beginning an acceleration.  Not exactly dangerous, but resulting is some anxious moments and the occasional horn blast or the digital gesture.

So anyway a week or so ago, I come home from some meeting or something and we settle into cocktails and eventually she hauls out a brochure and says “I think this is a good color, don’t you?”  and hands over the glossy book showing…. Yukons!.  While I glassy eyed gulped my drink, she goes on to speak knowingly about this package and that, and how to get the NAV system you need “convenience one” or something like that, and so on.  With the fortification of another dry manhattan, I began to be aware that there has been much research going on without my knowledge.  (Women are funny).  She finally announces that we have an appointment with the salesman the next day, and I should come over at four.  Um…. Okay.

So the next day I sit in an office while “Grant” taps a computer and eventually says "Hey! Here’s one in North Carolina that has the Nav without the DVD and sunroof!" (convenience one, deconstructed).  But has all the other stuff (hooty dooty sound system, power folding seats, 275 USB ports, several “house outlet” plugs (did you know they have that now?).  And before we know what hits us, arrangements have been made to have it ferried from North Carolina and we could see it next week (this was on a Friday).  Then we started considering things like down payment, trade in, loan values and before we knew it we were signing things.  By the way, these things cost a phenomenal amount of money and we’re just talking a Yukon XL here, not a Denali.

So a last week we found ourselves at the dealer cleaning out the MOMSTER II

And finally arrived back at the digs in (drum roll) MOMSTER III

And let me tell you (apologies to any owners), for us, a Suburban is NOT a Yukon.  It is a great car.  Voice command, 8 inch full color touch screen, (warmed) steering wheel controls, heated and cooled seats, power this, power that, warning lights, blind spot indicators, amazing stuff.   A mildly surprising fact is that while there are roof rails on the car, the cross rails are an extra.  No matter.  What the hell.

So far, I have not had the experience of driving it further than putting it in the garage after unloading the groceries (Women are funny).  The automatic tail gate can be opened halfway, three quarters, or fully open, you pick and dial your preference before punching the button.

And now there are rumors of maybe another cross country road trip..  eee hah!  If we do, and dine along the way we will not only be riding well but of course we will be

DFD

PS the owner of the original MOMSTER I can be proud of III and I is still in town, we know the owner, and she LOVES it..